Most of my blog posts are ‘in the moment’ posts. Most of my ideas are not preplanned. When I write, I am typically experiencing whatever it is, in the moment.
Today was no exception. From almost the moment I woke up, everything that could go wrong, did go wrong. With each pregnancy I experience lower back/hip pain but with this 4th it has been almost unbearable at moments. I had a chiropractor appointment this morning and of course being spring break week, took all 3 littles with me. Long story short, I had to see the chiropractor 2 times within an hour because it got worse, drug crabby kids through the store to pick up a few things, came home and was so emotionally wiped out that I thew them all in front of whatever screen I could find so I could just have an hour to myself, dealt with whining, crying and all the other stressful emotions that come with raising threenagers and beyond. It wasn’t even noon and I had checked out for the day. Still in pain and exhausted…
It was the end of the night and I decided I should torture myself once more because I hadn’t had enough for the day. I threw Anna in the tub and filled it up with bubbles for her. Bath time is always a disaster in our house. It’s messy, everyone screams when water gets in their eyes because it is the same thing as pouring acid in them, apparently and it’s just draining. 2 things happened that never happen. Anna never has the tub to herself and I never fill any of the kids baths with bubbles. As I was washing her, it was as if all of the stress of my day was washing away with the stain on her hands from dying eggs and making a crazy mess and washing away with the dirt under her nails from playing outside and throwing sticks into our little pond and then retrieving them. These stressful events I felt from the day had disappeared in that moment as I watched her giggle with joy over bubbles. I felt a peace come over me and I had power to make it through the rest of the night.
After I came downstairs I laid in bed to take a breather and of course zone out to Facebook. I was reminded again that it was Good Friday. The kids and I had been talking about it all day so I didn’t forget but I just love reading everyone else’s perspective and love for Christ and all He did for us. I was half reading, half thinking about the day and an email popped up. It was the final edit for my workbook being sent back. In that moment there was no difference between getting that email and God saying, I haven’t forgotten about you, I have your back!
I have known for a while that I would be writing a book. I didn’t think it was going to be anything close to what I have actually put together but about 6 months ago I remember praying a BIG BOLD prayer to God giving Him full control on where He wanted me to go. To anyone I have talked to about Woven Writing in the last few weeks, I can confidently say that it is 100% God-led and God-written.
I had a meeting this week that blew my tiny little idea of handing out 5 copies of Woven Writing to my closest friends that turned it into the BIG BOLD “here is what you are going” sign from God.
I broke down in tears when I seen that email pop up. I melted.
Here is what I tell a lot of new Christians that I talk to, beware! Beware that when things are going good, Satan will do what he can to set you back so you question your faithfulness to God. If he can’t get to you, he will try your marriage, friends, family and for me today, kids. Beware that when you are growing in Christ, something wrong will happen. It will. Every time I leave a conference or a deep 3 hour prayer group I spend my time driving home putting on my armor.
Today I knew deep down that I was being attacked because I continue to grow in Christ. I continue to step into my calling. I continue to raise my family knowing how amazing and loving our God is. OF COURSE I would have a bad day when God is propelling me into the BIG BOLD. However, it is no coincidence that the email came through today basically reading, “I’ve got you in the palm of my hand, dear child of mine”.