The first day of a new year bring hopes and dreams. Ideas and plans are made. Wishes and wants are thought about. It is a year when the spirit is renewed. A blank page to start anew.
I woke up early this morning at 4am with our pup Pearl begging to go outside. I fumbled to find my glasses and dragged my feet to open the door and quickly found myself greeted by a chilly burst of air and frost. When I made my way back to bed, the song ‘Ever Be’ played on repeat in my head. Specifically the line ”You will be parised. You will be praised. You will be praised, we sing worthy are you Lord”. Gosh even writing those words, I feel life pump through me! I love that song!!
Have you ever been to a concert and you enjoyed an artist when you heard their song come on the radio, but something about seeing and hear it sung live, gives new meaning to the song. I start putting a little more heart and soul into it because I can just feel the meaning and it brings back the joy I had when I heard it live.
This fall, I attended my first women’s retreat and I heard a local artist, Cherry (sorry Cherry I can’t remember your last name!) and she lead the worship team. Oh my goodness. That girl CAN SING! She brought so much life into many songs that I love because she just gave each one a whole new meaning with the way she belted out each word.
As I lay in bed tossing and turning, I hear ‘Ever Be’ on repeat in my head, knowing my little’s will be up in a few short hours. I knew there was a message I was supposed to be getting. That is why I couldn’t shake it and sleep.
If you are not spending time connecting with God when you are awake because you’re too busy, He will take moments when you are quiet and least distracted to talk to you. Often times, it is in the middle of the night.
I started tuning in. He said…
2014 – the year you crushed goals and proved to yourself you could do anything. You committed to being the best you possible and took great risks.
2015 – the year you became pregnant with a child I need you to care for in a special way. She is sent to you for something bigger than you can understand. Be patient. Everything you fought so hard for in 2014 took a back seat and you understood what was going on and let me take control.
2016 – the year you felt discomfort and unrest. You battled a deep dark hole and found ways to overcome obstacles you didn’t think you could. You found you strength in me. You put me first. You put me last. You let me win. You let the enemy win. You mentally wrestled with yourself every single day. You had to pep talk your way through each day. You had to pray. You prayed. You prayed.
At 4 o’clock in the morning, God had my attention and this is what He wanted to tell me.
He has a plan for me this year. I am going into 2017 doing what He continues to ask me to do every day. Write. Trust. Write and trust where God will lead me.
I know this is His plan because when I woke this morning, I forgot all about the conversation we had in the early morning. I had gotten dressed, digging a pair of black leggings out of the bottom of my laundry basket (yes I did the smell test) and threw on a sweatshirt. When I went into church this morning, the message was directed solely at me.
Pastor John was talking about the importance of writing and documenting our walk with Christ. Where we pray hard for God to show up, and when we see Him as He said we would.
The conversation of the early morning flooded back to me in bits as I sat in service. In awe, of course.
I knew I wasn’t just crazy and these words were really for me, when ‘Come Thou Fount of Every Blessing’ was talked about and sang at the end of service. A song Cherry had talked about in depth and gave us history on during our time at the retreat that weekend. It is a song I love and feel a deep connection to.
I too, was in a dark and broken place, not realizing all that God had to offer. Until I opened my heart and fell in love with God and His Son, I struggled. And even today in my struggles, I know the difference is, I have someone in my corner who loves me through the good AND bad.
I have lost friends, been mocked and make some uncomfortable in my deep faith but I would rather spend the rest of my life chasing after a life with God by my side, than eternity without Him.
I am a sinner in need of a Savior.
In 2017 I will be bold and fearless. I will rise up and be fierce for I have a Lion in my corner and a Lamb by my side.